This is my entry for the Motherhood : A Song For Life contest on women's web. And this lovely video is a part of the contest.
This is probably a familiar sight at your super market. That harried looking over weight woman, wearing clothes that look like they have been randomly thrown together, spotted with food, trying to finish her shopping while dragging a reluctant, screaming child down the aisles. People who don’t have kids would just look on pityingly while the rest smile knowingly.
That woman is me. And sometimes it’s still hard to believe, how my life has changed so drastically. How I swapped a career for full time motherhood. How I discovered that handling the most difficult client is a piece of cake compared with handling a stubborn toddler. And how quickly my conversation changed from the latest antics of my boss to those of my baby!
My story starts one June evening, when I discovered I was pregnant and got the shock of my life. This wasn’t something I was remotely prepared for. My husband and I had endless discussions about how we were going to ‘handle’ this. And yet with all those doubts and questions going on in my head, I was fascinated with the thought of a small, tiny being growing inside me.
One scan later, after listening to a tiny heartbeat, I was hooked. And I discovered that my body was not really my own. This was a baby who liked to make his presence felt, and sometimes at the most inopportune moments. I would be sitting in a meeting with my manager, when I would have to get up and rush to the bathroom to puke. And that wasn’t the only time. There have been very few places I visited during my pregnancy where I did not make my presence felt. With a rush of bile!
Mine was not a complicated pregnancy but definitely an eventful one. I did a lot of travelling. We moved to Australia. My sister got married a month before my delivery. And a sudden complication at the end, forced me to have a premature delivery.
On 2nd march 2011, my life as I knew it changed completely. In my limited experience of babies until then, I knew them as these extremely cute creatures that smiled and laughed and could be handed over to someone else when they started to cry. Now, that someone was me, and I realized how extremely demanding they could be. They constantly needed to be fed, cleaned or comforted.
But I also discovered that the most peaceful feeling in the world is holding a sleeping baby in your arms, (especially if they have spent the last hour crying). I discovered how a toothless smile could melt your heart completely. How you can understand exactly what your baby wants, even if it sounds like gibberish to others.
I also discovered the sisterhood of mothers. I found that there are so many people with you, going through the same highs, and the same problems. That they actually understand why you can get insanely happy over your toddlers first grubby attempt at painting. And why you can be sometimes reduced to tears by your child’s behavior. And how it feels to put in all that effort to cook something that your child rejects after one look. And why you still haven’t lost your pregnancy weight. All those mothers, they really understand.
My son Advaith is almost 20 months now. And I spend most of my time, running after him to ensure he eats something, worrying if he gets enough exercise, wondering if he is watching too much T.V. and doing those countless other things that all mothers do.
I may have been many things, but now the most important part of my identity is being his mother. And this is my song. My song for Life.
UPDATE : It seems I have won a small prize in the contest, and I am so happy. Thank you womensweb!!!